Bleached Naruto Veggies
by Shirokonoji
Summary: When a crazy Madara dresses up as a girl scout and plots a devious plan to kidnap everyone he can lay his hands on for his entertainment.
1. The Beginning of the Girls Scouts

Shirokonoji: I dun own Bleach, or Naruto, or Man, or One Piece, OR ANY OTHER ANIME/MANGA THAT I INCLUDE! *sulk* The rightful owners are Kubo, Kishimoto, Oda, ect...but if I did...! Muuheheheheh...

iAnime: Yah, she doesn't own that stuff, she doesn't deserve it! XD Muheehee...

Shirokonoji: LE GASP! *throws brick at iAnime*

Credit to iAnime for being a bit like my cowriter. EVEN THOUGH I WROTE EVERYTHING!

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AUTHORS'S NOTE-  
In this story there will be no OC's (own characters) and Uchiha Madara will be the closest thing to a 'main character'. Now, on with the story!

Uchiha Madara was training in the abandoned ruins of the Uchiha compound until he eventually got bored. He wanted some more entertainment and not just annoying his senpai, in the form of Tobi. But he couldn't do that now...so what to do? Madara got an idea, he quickly ran into his bedroom and rummaged through all of his stuff, eventually finding his swirly, lollipop Tobi mask and like the super-duper ninja he was he put the mask on a immediately got an idea.

Later on, a very strange girl scout was seen selling cookies to houses, she had a very cute swirly mask on her...

'At last!' cheered Madara in his head, 'I have found the houses of Japan's respected idols!' After making some final adjustments to his mask and frilly pink dress, Madara knocked on the door of a house. The door was opened and a guy with bright orange hair stepped out, wearing only a shirt that said 'Chappy the Bunny for President', pants that had hearts sown on and slippers that had Justin Bieber's face on them. (please don't flame me Bieber fangirls!)

' .god. WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF INTO?!' Madara screeched inside his head. But alas, it was waaaaaaaaay too late to turn back! Madara had no choice and so he resumed his facade. 'Hewo sir, would you wike some Choc Chip Minties? They're only 4 dollars for a box!' Madara gave the boy, Kurosaki Ichigo, a puppy dog face, then mental facepalmed because he remembered that he had his Tobi mask on. So insead he looked like a masked pedobear. Uh... No thanks. Although, my friend Hat's n' Clogs would want some-' OH GIMME I WANT COOKIES!' -And that's him.'

Urahara quickly snatched the box of godly cookies and started shoving his face. 'MUAHAH THEY'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT THEM!' Madara screeched. Urahara was too busy shoving his face with cookies to notice while Ichigo suspiciously glared at Madara. 'Ahaha...I'll just be going now...AND TAKING YOUR FRIEND WITH ME!' Ichigo facepalmed, grabbed Urahara by the collar and threw him out, and the perverted shop keeper squealed as he flew through the air and screamed ' I DON'T WANT IT TO END LIKE THIS, BEING PEDOED BY A MIDGET KID!'

Urahara faceplanted, groaned, and quickly flipped himself over onto his knees and beg Ichigo, 'Please save me Kurosaki! I'll give you twice the amount of training I did before!' Urahara was rolling on the floor until Ichigo finally said something, 'I WAS considering sparing you...but I DON'T WANT MORE TRAINING SO BUH BYE, HASTA LA VISTA BABY, SAYONRA, ADIOS AMIGO, SEE YAH LATER!' Urahara faceplanted again and started drooling, 'I think he finally snapped...' Madara sweatdropped. Urahara then started mumbling 'Oh grand Pedobear, I worship you... I am your servant...I have completed my duty of pedoing Kurosaki... I have-'

Madara used his teleportation jutsu to suck Urahara into an alternate world to shut him up, plus...if Pedobear was Urahara's master he would know...BECAUSE HE HAS CONNECTIONS! Oh well. Madara collected his remaining cookies, patted down his dress, to get rid of any Ichigo germs that could potentially kill him, and pulled at his small red wheelbarrow as he set off to find more victims- ahem, contestants for his game.

Mission: Kidnap Pervy Shop Keeper who has no decency WHAT SO EVER  
- Success, and easier that expected.

Current Objective: Kidnap Sowing Champion, 2009-2012  
- Incomplete

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Well, what did you guys think? This is my second fanfiction all together! Rate and review if you want to give me prompts for oncoming chapter or request that i write a special for your birthday! Tell me how I did k?


	2. Sewing 101

Shirokonoji: AWRIGHT! Chappie 2! This will hopefully not go on hiatus as I finish off my other story... To all the people who read my Bleach story, SORRY IT'S ON SUCH S LONG HAITUS! I'LL UN-HIATUS IT NOW! It's just that schools so hectic I don't get anytime anymore!

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT OK?!

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After dragging Urahara through his alternate universe Madara set out again, this time for the four eyed sewing machine. Now...where to find him?

Madara pranced through his room in the Uchiha compound, when sudden realization hit him straight in the face, literally, he crashed into a wall. HE WOULD LURE HIM IN! 'Uahah, all I need to do is find that irritating plush lion...what was its name again?...Mod Konpaku? Never the less, I must TEAR THAT LION AND MAKE INTO AN ATROCIOUS SEWING DISASTER!' Madara spazzed, flailing his arms around like Urahara when he sees cupcakes.

Madara slipped his swirly mask on again and felt all the evil, cruel and strikingly hilarious ideas fly into his head, oh wait, Madara just crashed into a wall again...nevermind.

Meanwhile, Ishida Uryu was training to become the champion for this years sewing completion to raise money for the League of Super Evil foundation, but then he heard a crash...meh, it was probably Ichigo failing and crashing into a wall. To pass the time, Uryu began to sing a song and it went like this-

'I am a craftsman'

'and I'm sewing some stuff'

'Sew-y sew-y stuff'

'I'm sewing some stuff'

And since this song was so awesome that the window right next to him just broke because the pressure of its awesomeness, Uryu decided to make an album.

Madara was sneaking like a total ninja through the school halls while crashing into a few people along the way, all of which dropped the deadly f-bomb near teachers, who thought that the little girl rushing to meet her sibling was cute- no wait, that was Madara! ...did he forget to change? TOO LATE NOW, THE PLAN IS GOING INTO EFFECT! Whilst almost punching some random dude, Madara noticed a very pretty picture of a cupcake so he totally ignored all the teacher squealing and screeching while pointing at him. He then proceeded to small full on into a wall, receiving oooooooh's and aaaaaaaaah's.

Urahara groaned and rubbed his head while rolling on the floor, 'Ow...my brain cells...'He sat up and slide around on his butt. 'Derp...where am I- ARGH STUPID KUROSAKI I HATE HIM! ...he didn't let me eat the cookies!' Urahara scrunched up his nose and snorted. 'Urahara Kisuke. Owner of the Urahara Shoten, exiled from the Soul Society, former captain of the Scientific Bureau.' Madara's disembodied voice echoed through the vast open area of Madara's pedoground where he sucked up innocent little kids and stole their candy.

Urahara stared at some random spot and glared at it, hoping to scare the creepy, voice, which sounded like that spoonhead arrancar...uh...whachamaface thingamadoodle...yeah, that's his name! He zoned off about then, thinking about his pretty, sparkly pet unicorn he left at home with...STUPOD KUROSAKI BETTER NOT BE PEDOING IT! Alas, some, mystical, magical, moron force slapped Urahara in the face.

Madara was loudly ranting about his success and how he knew who Urahara was and how stalkerish he was, he pause to breathe in and saw that his victim was zoning out and drooling, creating a puddle under him. Madara decided he had a time to shine, sooooooooooo, he EHEM 'MADE' a new move to wake his victim up. 'Alright, LETSA GO! I MUST PROVE MY AWESOMENESS AND RECEIVE A GLORIOUS, WONDEROUS CUPCAKE FROM THE MASTER OF KIDNAPPING AND GAMESHOWS!' so Madara got prepped up and...POW! 'MADARA KICK, MADARA SLAP...MADARA CHOP CHOP CHOP!

And that was that. On to the next victim.

Mission: Kidnap Sowing Champion, 2009-2012  
-Success

Current Objective : Kidnap Crazy Lady  
-Incomplete

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How 'd I do?! Was it crappy?


End file.
